i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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