I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
vagina is talking i cant
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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