Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
