I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He better not be in your backpack
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
where are my eyebrows?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
