If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
