I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
