I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You ruined the universe
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
