i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
