i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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