Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
