Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
