I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
