I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
