i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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