You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
