I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
