Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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