We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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