Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
