ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
