You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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