White coat. Heels.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
