we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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