I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
