A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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