And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
