I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
