was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
bring money and cleavage
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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