It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
