Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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