You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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