i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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