Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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