just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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