I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
