guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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