Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
