It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
