Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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