next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
