good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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