He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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