In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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