Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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