is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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