Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
