i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
