I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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