I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I still have a little drunk in my system
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
