She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Congratulations! We have a period
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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