You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
