i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize