how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
