I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
