I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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