just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
