so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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