Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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