I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
