why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
