we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
