We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
