By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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