I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize