Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
