He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
