sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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