glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
