that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
