I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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