btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
