Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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