We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
