You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
