Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
