I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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