this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize