walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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