i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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