I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was confusing and full of hummus
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
